The Quarter is over!

March 8, 2008

Since my student report cards go out in a few days, let me tell you what comments I did NOT use!

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village some where of an ‘idiot’.
5. Your son sets low personal standards, and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a “full six-pack” but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter’s IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.
10. If this student were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.
11. It’s impossible to believe the sperm that created this child, beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is definitely dead.